While others are happy for me, I still got responses like "...and you'll leave your kids behind?"... "That's something I can't do to my kids."
I don't feel the need to explain but with all those words I also sometimes get this nagging feeling to question my fitness as a mom. There are times when I ask myself if I'm really just selfish to be capable of leaving my kids while I work abroad. Am I an unfit mom? Am I thinking only of myself?
I always go back to my reasons why I'll work away from my family for a few months to comfort myself.
I love my family. That is out of the question. I love them all to bits from the moon and back.
I'm not running away from my true wealth and treasure, my family, to pursue more wordly possessions or money. It's not just about that. It's what we can afford to have for the kids. Of course, hubby and I would like to be able to provide the kids with better quality of life and better quality of education. I have a good salary here in Manila and my husband too. But with the inflation rate here, our expenses are just catching up with our monthly earnings. We would like to be able to send them to good schools without having to sacrifice our family's quality of life especially for the kids. We're not rich and my intention is not to make them spoiled brats. We just want to give them the best we can offer while instilling good values to them.
It's a sacrifice I felt I had to make for the family. I'm not generalizing but I'm thinking and I must be right that it is how other OFWs feel.
Anyhow my family will be moving with me by March or April. It's not as if I am abondoning them with their Father. When I got the offer, the first thing that came to mind was that by moving abroad, we're opening their eyes to broader perspective about the world and life in general by exposing them to different cultures, beliefs and ways of life.
I hope no one questions how much I love my kids. They mean the world to me. They inspire me to be a better person. They are the reason for my being. If I have to give my life for them, I won't think twice. That's how much I love them and no one has the right to question that.
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